I've always wanted to carry a briefcase.

Nothing says "success" like a smart looking briefcase made of fine leather. At least, not in my mind.

I would walk to work at a brisk pace as evidenced by the rapid pendulum swing of my left arm; my right arm would remain motionless from the anchor of importance and status. Time is money.

My initials, my monogram, would be neatly inscribed on a gold plate with a carefully chosen font to express my subtle, yet powerful identity.

In social situations, I would make it a point to examine the contents of my briefcase from time to time. Perhaps I would shuffle a few documents around or scribble a note before closing the lid and checking my watch. People would undoubtedly admire my Protestant work ethic: "He must be a very powerful and influential man," they would think.

Along my daily route, I would stop to admire the wares displayed prominently in the window of a well-kept antique shop. The little time capsules would arouse my imagination as I reflect on the craftsmanship and care that went into producing them, recreating the historical context of a time lost.

Alas, the weight of my briefcase would bring me back to the present, reminding me of the tasks and projects that lie ahead. I would take a moment to admire the reflection of my briefcase juxtaposed against my naked and bleeding body. Then I would go.

Meditation #1

I thought you would be interested to know that I started meditation today. Or rather, I made an attempt at meditation…you see, I am what the Zen masters refer to as a kook.


For ten minutes (I had a timer) I sat in silence. For the duration of those minutes, I attempted to concentrate on my breathing, but found myself focusing on the pain in my lower back and neck, then on keeping my eyes closed, then on making plans for the day (including, how I should incorporate my attempts at meditation on the blog that I don’t update enough). Then I focused on my breathing again and its erratic nature. I said a few prayers of thanks because I am ecumenical. I peeked at myself several times in the mirror and remarked in my mind how serene I looked, sitting cross-legged on the floor…posing, like a poser.

Bowel Movement #5 in F minor

My body will typically commence its bowel movement within 20 minutes of waking. It has its reasons. Well, the other day I decided to head into work really early without first taking care of business. My body did not appreciate this change in plans and expressed its displeasure in the form of early labor. The world, too, conspired against me with unusually heavy traffic and red lights. I did not end up soiling myself in traffic, although I know you wish I had.

It was a small victory for Mind, even though I know the Body will win in the long run.

I just finished a bath

It's important to feel clean from time to time. How long before I get bored of blogging? I will continue out of self-hate and spite, oh yes.