The Coast is Not Clear

I hate fog. But especially when it parks itself along the coast and refuses to go anywhere for several hours. It does not make for the most enjoyable surfing conditions. It's like having a tall, fat man sit in front of you at the movies.  If I could have magical powers, I would control the weather and use my powers purely for my own benefit. But the world would probably end after the fist day of my reign. Trade-offs.

Autumnal ruminations

Each successive day is roughly two minutes shorter than the last, which means the post-work surfs will soon be coming to an end. Nevertheless, there is still time to beat the sun before it retires and enough light when I arrive at my destination to squeeze in those magical Civil Twilight Sessions.

Meditation #1

I thought you would be interested to know that I started meditation today. Or rather, I made an attempt at meditation…you see, I am what the Zen masters refer to as a kook.


For ten minutes (I had a timer) I sat in silence. For the duration of those minutes, I attempted to concentrate on my breathing, but found myself focusing on the pain in my lower back and neck, then on keeping my eyes closed, then on making plans for the day (including, how I should incorporate my attempts at meditation on the blog that I don’t update enough). Then I focused on my breathing again and its erratic nature. I said a few prayers of thanks because I am ecumenical. I peeked at myself several times in the mirror and remarked in my mind how serene I looked, sitting cross-legged on the floor…posing, like a poser.

The Bichon Frise

 

The Bichon Frise literally means "Curly lap dog," but in reality they are thoroughly evil minions of Satan. Should you ever encounter one in person, it's best to not to make eye contact. And you certainly shouldn't invite one into your personal space. When Goethe wrote Faust, I'm pretty sure he intended that Mephistopheles disguised himself as a Bichon Frise, and not a "poodle" as some translators have suggested.

Chillin'

koi are nice people

I find koi to be polite and thoughtful. I always enjoy an opportunity to spend some time with them.

:)

.

What day is it?

From time to time, I experience a little confusion and disorientation upon waking. This morning, for example, I thought it was Saturday. The little bit of joy that I felt for being able to sleep in was quickly replaced by the sad realization that my work week has not yet ended.


Fuck my life.

Bowel Movement #5 in F minor

My body will typically commence its bowel movement within 20 minutes of waking. It has its reasons. Well, the other day I decided to head into work really early without first taking care of business. My body did not appreciate this change in plans and expressed its displeasure in the form of early labor. The world, too, conspired against me with unusually heavy traffic and red lights. I did not end up soiling myself in traffic, although I know you wish I had.

It was a small victory for Mind, even though I know the Body will win in the long run.

Bob Lob Law

Say it to yourself.

iAm not a genius, so iTunes does the work for me.

Happy Independence Day

Hello and welcome to the Independence Day edition of A Magical and Wondrous Blog. Please feel free to enjoy the music playing in the background as you reflect on what it means to be an American citizen. Additionally, I invite you to make yourselves comfortable and safe within the confines of your underground bunkers as you await alien invasion.

It is only a matter of time before we are all made into slaves and eaten alive by an alien race of giant insects.

The King of Pop has ceased to be.

A Magical and Wondrous Painting

Going left?

Fatness

The fat man zipped past me in the supermarket the other day (not the gentlemen in the picture above).

The agility with which he handled his scooter--going in and out of aisles, moving around the other customers, negotiating turns and so on--both amazed and saddened me. I wondered at what point he decided for himself that walking was just too much of a hassle. Then I wondered how he bathed himself and if he made sure to clean between the folds of skin.

Sometimes I feel like keeling myself

San Diego, California

Weee!

I realized something important today.

I'm most at ease inside the ocean.

Is surfing evil or the cure to all evil?

"I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still and quiet in a room alone."--Blaise Pascal

My Morning Shower

This morning in the shower, I simultaneously tripped out over the word "shampoo" and urinated down the drain. I know, it's both fascinating and repulsive.